Moving away, moving on…

“Moving on is easy, but what you leave behind is what makes it hard..”

What would be the reason for you to move to another country? Would you move because you have burning desire to experience new culture, meet new people? Find an amazing job and create better life for yourself? Would you follow your heart and move for the ones you love?

Last two years, I was moving quite a lot from one country to another.  I was staying abroad for summer jobs or my studies. However, my time in the country has always had its “termination date”. I have always known that I am going to return back home, to Slovakia. After finishing studies in Rotterdam last summer, I had to make decision where I want to live. Great job opportunity in Slovakia has occured and I was quite happy to try to live in my “mother land” again. Country that I know everything about, with so many friends around. Then, just one week after returning to Slovakia I have started exciting job in Bratislava. I have spend whole summer working a lot, living adult life and trying to settle down. Firstly, I thought this can be “IT”. Though, things are not always going as we planned and inside I have started to get feeling that this is not what I should do with my life. I was just not happy and I knew that I need to move on. That was the time when opportunity to move to Sweden has occured. It was not such a difficult decision to make, with my family already living there, and then, in the middle of September I quitted my job in Bratislava, booked a plane tickets and within two weeks I was moving to Scandinavia. Little crazy me.

I have started another episode of my life called “Living in Sweden”. After some time I knew that moving to Sweden was the best thing that could happened to me. With my family around, enjoying my work and doing everything I wanted to do. Living totally different life from my life in Slovakia. More relaxed, more colorful, more interesting.

However, even if you are living the happiest life abroad, sometimes it can be a bumpy ride. During time in Sweden I have experienced several really bad days caused by language I could not understand, people with totally different cultural background (when stereotypes are not just stereotypes). Feeling alone and not understood. I have also experienced several phases of the cultural shock and just getting used to unpleasable weather condition can create lots of issues in your head. (Rain, rain, wind, rain, wind and little bit more rain – not so much fun when you are riding bicycle all the time).

Though, to be totally honest, what was messing with my head was the fact that I missed Slovakia so much.  I could not commit to stay in Sweden, not just yet. I missed familiar faces, familiar places – things that mean world to me. That was reason why I was super excited to go back “home” for the Christmas holidays. I have spend amazing two weeks there but then I realized one thing. As much as I love Slovakia, life I want to live now is somewhere else – in Sweden. Sometimes you have to move on from the things that you love in order to grow. Even when it hurts.

With the new year I have finally committed to my life in Sweden. I am here and I am here to stay for longer time. Because it just feels right. Nobody knows what will happen and maybe everything will be different in the future. But I am happy now. I am still thinking about Slovakia every day. And I still miss it, and miss people there. Though, it is kind of different now.

Wherever in the world you are living, whatever are you doing, always follow your intuition and your heart (take a little bit of brain too, just in case). Try to find that special place that makes you feel comfortable, makes you feel happy and makes you feel like “home”. If you are thinking about moving to another country, just do it. It is scary and it is not easy but it is totally worth the try.

Imperfect Perfection

per·fec·tion

: the state or condition of being perfect

: the act of making something perfect or better : the act of perfecting something

: something that cannot be improved : something that is perfect

Having a perfect life. Always look perfect. Getting a perfect job, perfect house, perfect car. Being in a perfect relationship with a perfect person.

Perfectly perfect perfection. Everybody is always talking about it. Everybody is chasing it. But in the end, is somebody ever reaching it?

When I was a young girl I was building all of these dream castles and thinking how perfect everything is going to be. In that time, I have really believed that perfection is the key to happiness. Just a naive girl dreaming about the fairytales. Then life has happened. Things got complicated and got so far from the perfection. And like every teenage girl I got confused with the person who I want to become. How should I look? How should I behave in the certain situations? What the hell should I do to come closer to my fairytale life?

Influenced by the society, media and also people around me I have started to put “the mask of perfection”. Always look amazing, behave appropriate, be strong and never show too much emotions. Make no mistakes and try to be as perfect as possible. On the surface I have started to be really good at living this way. Not many people could tell that I have so many issues going on inside. Of course from time to time I have had kind of “emotional break-down” when I could not pretend anymore. It made me feel so bad about myself but I have always tried to forget about it. During that time I have been really lost and far away from the person I really am. Inside I knew something has to change. And what has helped me the most was the moment when I have started travelling. I had to leave everything familiar behind and started to search for real me. As I was seeing all of these amazing new places, meeting fascinating new people and experiencing crazy moments I have realized they have one thing in common – they are not perfect at all and that is what is making them so special. In that moment, I really didn´t want to wear my mask anymore, however, it was so scary to throw it away. Moving in baby steps I have started to become more myself. Less perfect but more real.

I would love to tell you that these days I am totally comfortable with myself and do not try to reach perfection anymore. Tell you that magic has happened and I am free from this perfect obsession. But trully, I am not. I am fighting with it every day. But then I look at the people I love the most in my world – my wonderful family and friends – they are not perfect at all, but with their imperfections they are making my life trully happy.

After all I am asking myself today…….

When we finally stop playing pretentious life-long game named “perfection” and instead embrace all the crazy beautiful imperfections that every day is offering us? Why it is so insanely difficult to accept and love our flaws? Why are we still torturing ourselves in reaching for unreacheable when we already have so many things to be grateful for?

I have learned one thing. You can see the most beautiful, the smartest or the richest people living the happiest life but remember – none of the is perfect. And they never will be. Because perfection is just not real. And it is most certainly not the key to happines. However, what can really make you happy is filling your life with the people that inspire you, things that fascinate you and whatever you do, always do it with the passion and joy. Maybe today is the day when you can stop pretending and start really living and enjoying your life. And I really wish for all of you leave perfection behind and live your life as it would be fairytale. Your imperfect but amazing fairytale. 🙂

M.

About a girl who wanders

“Not all those who wander are lost”

J. R. R. Tolkien

And there I was, sitting in the cozy harbor café on the small Danish island, looking at the waves slowly moving to the border. That was a time when I have realized that I am not going to be scared anymore. I am going to make my life as I always dreamed of to be. In that moment I have realized that everything is possible once you leave your fears behind. Now, two years later,I have finally found time to look back and reflect all the things that have happened during that time.It has been one crazy ride I can tell you!!!! Full of laugh, fun, love, friendships, travelling, parties but also tears, insecurities and broken hearts. But in the end, I am so much different from the person I have been before. Changed in so many ways. This is called growing up, isn´t it? 🙂

I have been thinking about writting a blog for a long time. However, I have been starting over and over and trying to put my thoughts together. Never worked for me. Inside I knew that I have so many things that I would like to share but I has always been afraid to be judged, not understood or whatever. But as I said before I do not want to be scared anymore. And that is reason why I am writting my first post. To be exposed, to be little vulnerable but in the end to be free.

And now about a girl who wanders….

I am young girl, woman, whose mind is always at so many different places. Always searching for inspiration in everything. Always on the go. Always thinking about next “big thing” in my life. I want to experience, see and feel as many beautiful things in the world as it is possible.My heart, soul but also body is always wandering. Im hopeless dreamer, believer but I know when it is time to get back to the reality. Just for a while ;). Somebody can call me naive, but I am so comfortable with the way I am living that I do not care. I am strong, confident and chasing all my dreams. Being happy and loved is all I want from life and I am so grateful to have family and friends to die for! I am sometimes sad, making stupid mistakes, acting silly but it is part of becoming person who I want to be. I am girl who wanders! 🙂

I am on the exciting, amazing journey called life and you are welcome to be part of it. I want to share with you what gives me inspiration and strenght, what fascinates me. Love, relationships, travelling, food – and so many more amazing things to explore every day!

I have started my first post with the quote “Not all those wander are lost” that means a lot to me. I am girl who wanders. And I have been lost many times. But now, I feel like first time in my life I can finally fully enjoy wandering and all the beautiful things that comes in my way.

Have an amazing day! :* :*

M.