Imperfect Perfection

per·fec·tion

: the state or condition of being perfect

: the act of making something perfect or better : the act of perfecting something

: something that cannot be improved : something that is perfect

Having a perfect life. Always look perfect. Getting a perfect job, perfect house, perfect car. Being in a perfect relationship with a perfect person.

Perfectly perfect perfection. Everybody is always talking about it. Everybody is chasing it. But in the end, is somebody ever reaching it?

When I was a young girl I was building all of these dream castles and thinking how perfect everything is going to be. In that time, I have really believed that perfection is the key to happiness. Just a naive girl dreaming about the fairytales. Then life has happened. Things got complicated and got so far from the perfection. And like every teenage girl I got confused with the person who I want to become. How should I look? How should I behave in the certain situations? What the hell should I do to come closer to my fairytale life?

Influenced by the society, media and also people around me I have started to put “the mask of perfection”. Always look amazing, behave appropriate, be strong and never show too much emotions. Make no mistakes and try to be as perfect as possible. On the surface I have started to be really good at living this way. Not many people could tell that I have so many issues going on inside. Of course from time to time I have had kind of “emotional break-down” when I could not pretend anymore. It made me feel so bad about myself but I have always tried to forget about it. During that time I have been really lost and far away from the person I really am. Inside I knew something has to change. And what has helped me the most was the moment when I have started travelling. I had to leave everything familiar behind and started to search for real me. As I was seeing all of these amazing new places, meeting fascinating new people and experiencing crazy moments I have realized they have one thing in common – they are not perfect at all and that is what is making them so special. In that moment, I really didn´t want to wear my mask anymore, however, it was so scary to throw it away. Moving in baby steps I have started to become more myself. Less perfect but more real.

I would love to tell you that these days I am totally comfortable with myself and do not try to reach perfection anymore. Tell you that magic has happened and I am free from this perfect obsession. But trully, I am not. I am fighting with it every day. But then I look at the people I love the most in my world – my wonderful family and friends – they are not perfect at all, but with their imperfections they are making my life trully happy.

After all I am asking myself today…….

When we finally stop playing pretentious life-long game named “perfection” and instead embrace all the crazy beautiful imperfections that every day is offering us? Why it is so insanely difficult to accept and love our flaws? Why are we still torturing ourselves in reaching for unreacheable when we already have so many things to be grateful for?

I have learned one thing. You can see the most beautiful, the smartest or the richest people living the happiest life but remember – none of the is perfect. And they never will be. Because perfection is just not real. And it is most certainly not the key to happines. However, what can really make you happy is filling your life with the people that inspire you, things that fascinate you and whatever you do, always do it with the passion and joy. Maybe today is the day when you can stop pretending and start really living and enjoying your life. And I really wish for all of you leave perfection behind and live your life as it would be fairytale. Your imperfect but amazing fairytale. 🙂

M.

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